Conversation Woes

I am a lousy conversationalist (if there exists such a word, which I think does). Talking to a person, specially if he (and more so if she is a she!) is a stranger or just an acquaintance is quite a tough task for me. And in case the conversation is over the phone, then God only knows how I fare.

I have been like this only. Ever since I remember, sitting down and chatting wasn't something I enjoyed. Unless, of course, I was with some really close pals or was discoursing on topics close to my heart (which are quite few, in fact). And jumping between topics is one of my characteristic traits. One moment I'll be talking about Agra, the next I'll be near the North Pole, if you know what I mean. And I like to think ahead about what I am going to say (even in informal conversations!) and when the time comes, i either completely forget everything or mess it all up.

I think I am selfish when it comes to conversation. I can talk about me, my likes, dislikes, and my life in quite detail, often, in the process forgetting about the other person. Many a times I have called a sick person and forgot to enquire about their health! Someone has been promoted and I forget to congratulate him/her! Its always me, me and me.

At least, face to face conversations are okay. You can drag your visual senses into the conversation. But when you are linked to a person just by your voice and the person is probably hundreds (or thousands) of miles away, its quite difficult to sustain the conversation. Once I have finished saying what I intended to say, the conversation becomes a drag. And after a series of how are yous? and i guess, everythings all right?, the conversation is thankfully terminated. There are only a few people who can continue a conversation with me for maybe ten minutes or more over phone. That would be two of my aunts (with them, its actually a monologue, with me inserting suitable yes, nos and ohs!); sometimes my mom when she is in a similar mood as that of my aunts; and some of my really close pals with whom i don't need to glance at the watch every few seconds and can discuss almost everything under the sun.

The upside of this problem is that I have comparatively lower phone bills. The downside being its getting quite difficult to interact with beautiful young girls. As if to add to my omnipresent woes mentioned above, i tend to get overexcited sometimes and sometimes my mind goes just blank. You can get away with talking about the weather once, discoursing about snippets of quizzical information next time (which, i guess, girls really dislike :( ). What about the next time? And the next? And unless you say something, how do you make conversation? The vicious cycle goes on and on...

I have tried various options. Tried taking tips from my roommate (who can talk on the phone for hours on end- he even passed whole nights on the phone just talking to someone!!!). Tried to evince interest in what the other person has to say. Even read those stupid articles from Reader's Digest. But to no avail. Guess this is an inborn error of metabolism. :) Hope some inborn error rectifies it too!